Shattering the glass ceiling of illusion.

"I’m less interested in banging down the door of some man who doesn’t want me there. I’m more about building my own house." -- Ava DuVernay

Let's continue with the metaphor.

Option One. You spend your time, your blood-sweat-and-tears remodeling an old house that doesn't really have everything you need and is pretty poorly designed if you were to be completely honest in a neighborhood of people who pretend you don't exist in a community where your vote barely counts.

Exhausting.

Option Two. You take out some paper and draw the blueprint of your dream home, with all of the things you need and leaving out the rest. You build your house in an oasis that's green and alive and thriving; where the oxygen has a different quality— you remember what breathing really feels like— and there is space and lightness and clarity. It doesn't take long for a group of people you respect and trust to come and join you, and together you create a community that supports one another.

Different, isn't it?

This metaphor is not far from the truth of an illusion many of us are living in today. Women are part of a system created by an old patriarchy that was never meant to support us. (Honestly, it doesn't support most men either.) We have become so accustomed to this as reality that we've lost sight of a different way. In our hazy, fog-minded state we try to fight for our seat at the table and our share of the pie and then we self-blame or feel victimized when that doesn't even get us what we truly need.

It's time to build that new house, with it's own table. (Or maybe it's a living room with no table at all, just cushions and comfortable seating that gives space for real conversation.) 

This is about throwing away all of the current rules and ways of doing things and starting from square one.

It requires diligence and self-awareness to question our assumptions each step of the way.

It takes persistence and confidence to stand for that blueprint, even when others say its impossible to build.

It asks that we remain patience and trust and surrender of the ego's desires to keep things comfortable.

Both options will take energy, time, resource. 

One option will drain us, the other will give us life.

What I'm curious to know is: what would your house look like? How would you do things differently? What could be possible then?